It isn’t often that an older brother is able to publicly admit just how proud he is of his younger brother, yet here I am, and speaking for two.
Jake Parker, the youngest of the three sons of Steve and Debby Parker, has risen from the shadows of his family’s legacy, the shadows of his own expectations, and the shadows of unspeakable tragedy within that same family.
The entire Parker family has left its imprint on the Lowndes school system. From administration to athletics, the Parkers have had a presence as Vikings for over 30 years, leaving it impossible for Jake not to walk into lofty expectations. Myself, Austin Parker, Zach Parker, Casey Parker (now Bacon), Courtney Parker (now Fleming), and Karen Parker (now Bennett) are all names that are recognizable by Lowndes faculty and fans alike, but each for different reasons. State championships, national championships, MVPs, playing at the next level, highlights on ESPN’s Top 10, and going on to coach have all become staples in the Parker family.
However, while excellence in academics, athletics, and character was always the standard, each individual had to find their way to stay true to the family values, but also to themselves.
That is no automatic process, and understandably so, Jake felt the weight of that pressure early on in his career as a football player.
“At first, the allure of playing on Friday nights in Martin Stadium seemed like it was the greatest thing in the world,” Jake says. “Getting to hear about it everywhere and getting to see it played out, I was all for the idea of doing the same. It wasn’t until I actually got in high school that I realized that it would also be the hardest part. I felt as any kid would; I felt that I had to be just as good or be better than my brothers and family. This mindset drove me to work harder, but it made getting to their level the focus of my entire career. The end result, however, was that it also made me feel like a failure when I didn’t quickly obtain the same level of fame.”
As a young quarterback coming into Lowndes High School, Jake was burdened by the weight of comparison to myself (Lowndes’ starting quarterback in 2009 and 2010), all whilst trying to compete for a starting job. He was determined, goal oriented, and had an unquestionable work ethic as he gained weight and strength, improve his speed and agility, and trained to improve his throwing motion and footwork on his way to being Lowndes’ starting quarterback. However, hard work doesn’t always pay off, and by the offseason workouts of his freshman summer, the grind of being a student-athlete had begun to slowly wear on Jake.
Then, on July 16th, 2013, everything irreversibly changed. Our oldest brother, Austin, died in a tragic hiking accident at the age of 23.
Fierce independence and an adventurous spirit spurred Austin to move to Montana, but this same ambition proved to be his downfall. Upon hiking alone up Electric Peak, a mountain in Yellowstone National Park that is appropriately and famously named because of its lightning storms and static electricity, Austin found himself near the peak as an ominous lightning storm quickly rolled in. With time against him and static discharges providing reminders of the apparent urgency, Austin made a fatal mistake in his attempt to descend the mountain to safety.
While we will never know exactly what happened on that mountain that caused him to fall, after over 72 hours of search and rescue efforts, his remains were found at the bottom of a large scree cliff.
Minutes later, a phone call, instantly followed by anguish; a family completely ravaged by grief. The screaming, crying, and denial of that day permanently embedded in his mind.
Days later, a funeral; almost calloused from the pain as his brother was laid in his final resting place. Attempting to celebrate his life instead of mourning his death became a seemingly impossible struggle that would extend far beyond that day.
Weeks, months, and years later, lying in the ruins of Austin’s memory, is a heartbroken family still plagued by pain, confusion, and conflict. Jake, who was only 15 years old at the time, was and is certainly no exception.
“Austin’s death influenced me in more ways than I can count; mostly in ways I can’t even see,” he says. “Mere words lack the power and depth to communicate the fullness of that feeling and that impact. But one thing is clear: it made me look at my life through an entirely different lens.”
Football had been put into perspective in the most sobering way possible. The trivial pursuit of local fame and success was revealed as shallow in comparison to the indescribable loss of his brother, who was his role model and one of his closest friends.
During such formative years, Jake was faced with the immense complexity of trying to cope and establish a new normal. While the Parker family and Austin’s friends grieved, the rest of the world had kept spinning. As you would expect, Jake fell behind in his pursuit of being the starting quarterback.
“I gradually realized that I would not be accomplishing the goals I set so long ago,” he says. “That fact started to mix with my deep-rooted anger and frustration with my brother’s passing, making for a deadly combination. I no longer enjoyed football and certainly didn’t see it as important anymore. Therefore, I got rid of it.”
Football had lost its meaning, its worth, and ultimately, its necessity. After tolerating his sophomore season, Jake walked away from the game the following January. For the next calendar year, his life took a different direction.
“My life shifted to enjoying every moment I could, most often through hunting, farming, and spending time with my family,” he says. “Life became much simpler. It wasn’t until later that an opportunity to start fresh came along.”
During that year during which Jake was not playing football, Ashley Henderson, head football coach at Valwood, saw an opportunity before him. Sure, Coach Henderson saw the dormant football potential within Jake, but he also saw far beyond that as the two also bore the burden of an uncommon similarity.
Coach Henderson also lost his brother, Doug, at an early age, and he understood what a traumatic experience that could be. However, he got into coaching in order to develop young boys into young men, and he saw that football could be a vehicle for Jake’s progression past his painful memories opposed to keeping him dwelling in them. How? Football wasn’t meant to be a joyless job, a pursuit of fame and fortune, or something done out of obligation; it is instead the means of finding joy in a game while developing character within impressionable and growing men.
Coach Henderson’s offer of a fresh start and proper positioning of football in his life gradually became attractive to Jake, and after many conversations and much consideration, Jake made the decision to transfer to Valwood. Football, however, was far from the only reason he transferred.
“Coach Henderson is the main reason I came to Valwood,” Jake says. “I’d never had a football coach impress me like he did. It wasn’t his history, his style, or his talk, but it was his pure motives and intentions. He deeply cares about his players, and he knew how to make football fun. I did not know that feeling for the majority of my life. However, it went beyond Coach Hen helping me realize that football could be fun; he saw that I needed to play again to prove it to myself that I could enjoy football, and most importantly, not let my past haunt my future.”
While Jake’s past is one that could easily haunt, when he first stepped on Valwood’s campus in January of 2015, it became clear that he was not going to allow that to be the case.
His move to Valwood during the offseason further proved that the decision encompassed more than just football, but once he got settled in to a new school and new day-to-day life, football became the task at hand. Knowing Jake, that’s all it took: a task that needed completing. He had walked into a program where state championships were expected, and he was going to go get one.
So he went to work. He frequented the weight room, film room, and practice field, as he only had one season to learn a new system, get back into football mode, and lead the Valiants on the field. To get back into playing form, he bulked up from to 200 pounds, further dropped his 40-yard dash time to 4.5 seconds, and vastly improved other stat lines like his vertical jump. However, there was one particularly important factor that couldn’t be improved anywhere other than on the practice and game fields: readjusting to having a rush of defenders in his face.
“Thanks to (quarterbacks) Coach (John) Lastinger, I went from run-crazy QB to being able to comfortably sit in the pocket within a single season. He took my raw talent and successfully refined my skills, all while encouraging me and having a great time together.”
After numerous statement wins throughout the regular season against defending state champions and region rivals, the Valiants were defeated in the region championship game against Deerfield-Windsor, placing them as the second seed in Region 3-AAA as they headed into the playoffs. It was that loss and seeding that would require them to defeat three consecutive number-one seeds on the road in order to bring the title back to Valwood.
That’s exactly what happened, and in grand fashion.
This unprecedented milestone was accomplished by a cumulative total of 11 points (7 of which were scored on a pick-6 to halt the opponents’ final drive in the closing seconds) as Valwood won their final three games of the 2015 season, including the state championship rematch against Deerfield-Windsor. Pulse pounding, last minute scoring drives, and defensive stands made for what is likely the most thrilling postseason run in Valwood’s history, and likely beyond.
Behind the curtain of the 2015 State Champion Valwood Valiants was a strong group of senior leaders, a coaching staff that inspired, a deeply rooted joy in the game, and a quarterback with a reason to play and something to prove, but only to himself.
“After everything I had gone through, the suffering on and off of the field, I finally felt a sense of peace,” Jake says. “I had fulfilled what I started so many years ago.”
With that season, that championship win, that peace of mind, Jake has decided to step away from football for good as he prepares to attend college this fall.
“I have been blessed with an amazing senior year; we were able to succeed and finish as champions, but this is where it ends for me,” he says. “I appreciate all the support and lessons I obtained from football, but my focus now shifts to using those lessons in college and then in the military.”
There is no better closure and sense of finality than going out as a champion, and Jake has earned a graceful exit from the game. With a ring on his finger, memories that will last a lifetime, and the personal development of his character through the fires of numerous trials, the game has nothing left to offer him.
With a life marked by perseverance, strength, and leadership, he now shifts his attention to the ultimate challenge: becoming a member of our military’s elite, the Navy SEALs.
“I have wanted to be a part of this elite unit for most of my life,” Jake says. “I am well aware of the rigorous physical, mental, and emotional training, as well as the eighty percent dropout rate during SEAL training, but that challenge makes becoming a SEAL all the more attractive. I want to prove that I am worthy, I want to be pushed to unknown places, and I want to be the best of the best for my country. I refuse to fail.”
Staring up from the dark shadow of the mountain before him, Jake Parker could have crumpled. His family’s legacy, his own expectations, and chiefly the death of his oldest brother could have easily caused him to lay idly in pity or fear. But instead of avoiding the mountain of his early life’s struggles, he just started climbing. One step at time, with the end in mind, he climbed. Through unspeakable grief, he climbed. Through a deck stacked against him, through the pressure of expectations, and through every single thing that came his way, he climbed. The mountain before him didn’t intimidate him; it motivated him.
“All of the pain, all of the hurt, all of the grief; it is fuel to the fire that burns within me every single day,” he says. “I could feel sorry for myself, claim that it wasn’t fair, or crawl in a hole everyday and not come out. But instead, I set the bar high and hope that with this fire burning, I can accomplish great things, just like I know Austin would want me to.“
I can now confidently say this: mission accomplished. Earning the respect of your older brothers is an extremely difficult feat, but Jake has managed to add that to his list of recent accomplishments. But here’s the important thing: it has nothing to do with his success on the field; it’s the man he has become, and is continuing to become, off of it.
Coming from one brother that is extremely proud of him, if there is one thing in this world that I am sure of, it’s this:
Austin would be too.
Sidebars:
There is a lot going on beneath the surface of Jake Parker. A prime example is that Jake wore an undershirt featuring the number 84, right in the middle of his chest, each Friday night. This homage to his brother, Austin, who also wore the number 84, was unseen and unknown to most of the world. The crazy part? It was given to him at random by the equipment staff before the start of the season.
“It changed me into a young man who had to grow up quickly. I had to face the reality and see that nothing I can do will ever change what happened.”
“Do not fear. I must always return to my roots, my family, my friends, and other loved ones — because it is you that allows me to persevere when no one else thinks that I can do it or make it. You are, and will remain, my touchstones, beacons in stormy seas, and cool respites in the blistering heat that life can at times force us to endure. That fact will never change … I love and respect each of you, and I will see you again.” – Austin Parker’s blog, June 26
My lifelong goal is to become a Navy Seal. I am well aware of the rigorous physical, mental, and emotional training as well as the eighty percent dropout rate during Seal training, but that challenge makes becoming a SEAL all the more attractive. Granted, many young men my age dream of the “Hollywood” image of being in the Seals, but precious few ever put in the work to make it through training and actually become a SEAL. As for me, I have wanted to be a part of this elite unit for a very long time, and refuse to let fear of the most demanding training program in the world deter me from my goal. What separates me from all the other kids who saw a movie and felt inspired? I refuse to fail. Life has thrown numerous obstacles at me, including losing my oldest brother when he was only 23 years old, but I will not let those obstacles deter me from my goals. Instead, I use it as fuel to the fire that burns within me to become a great student and one day, a SEAL. Choosing to be a special warfare officer was an obvious choice for me due to the fact that I have been in leadership positions my entire life. Whether it be the quarterback of a state champion team, or the leader of my youth group, I know how to lead and lead well. What better job than to be leading the most motivated and elite force in the entire world?
All through my life, I have been drawn to military sorts of things and ways, but after reading about the seals in middle school, it stuck with me. I never committed to it until 10th grade after football but I knew if I didn’t do this, I’d regret it. The seals were attractive because they had the hardest training possible. I want to prove that I am worthy, I want to be pushed to unknown places, and I want to be the best of the best for my country. Nothing has ever grabbed hold of me more than the idea of being a seal. I’m not captivated by the flashy Hollywood version, but the hard working, competition driven day to day life of a seal. Of the many reasons I want to be a seal, these are but a few.
I have wanted to be a part of this elite unit for most of my life. I am well aware of the rigorous physical, mental, and emotional training, as well as the eighty percent dropout rate during Seal training, but that challenge makes becoming a SEAL all the more attractive. I refuse to fail. I want to prove that I am worthy, I want to be pushed to unknown places, and I want to be the best of the best for my country.
ITG-South Georgia / March 2016
Special Feature
Valwood School
Valdosta, GA
A Mountain to Climb
By Cole Parker
Photos by Marque Milla Reese
